“Is everybody in? The ceremony is about to begin. The entertainment for this evening is not new, you've seen this entertainment through and through.” - Jim Morrison, An American Prayer
It’s Rocky III, Rambo 1, Terminator 2, Wrestlemania 5, and the academic decathlon in Billy Madison all rolled into one. Desert showdown in Vegas. Trump/Clinton III: A Night to Dismember.
Three weeks before the electorate takes to the polls, and judgment draweth nigh. The stag and the nag, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, square off at the University of Nevada Las Vegas, UNLV to the layman, or layperson for those offended by gender-specific pronouns.
So here are the top 3 things to look for tonight in Trump/Clinton III…
1) AGENTS OF CHAOS
Mark Cuban, Trump’s bestie, or so he calls him on Twitter, plans to be in the front row, of course, for Cuban, calling Trump his “bestie” is actually derision, as he’ll be in Hillary’s corner.
Cuban hasn’t been this politically active since he teamed up with Trump’s true bestie, Ann Coulter, to keep sharks from infiltrating The White House.
Meanwhile, Trump’s bringing the mother of a Benghazi victim. Can you say, "OH, BURN!"?
The second thing to look for in Trump/Clinton III …
2) LET’S TALK ABOUT CHICKS, MAN
If this election is a circus, actually I prefer the term carnival, or side-show, or jamboree, then Trump is its ringmaster.
Hillary will attempt to do what she couldn’t last debate… lambaste Trump using his own misogynistic rhetoric, even if that Access Hollywood tape is soooo 11 years ago, and even though her own husband, a former president, fancies himself some sort of Shampoo-era Warren Beatty.
Hillary will castigate, Trump will denigrate, and we’ll be left feeling like we just ate Chinese food... hungry for more.
3) POST-GAME ANALYSIS
Who won, who lost? Who gives a s**t? The only poll that matters is the one on Election Day. Come November 9th, no one is going to remember who won or who lost this debate. But they’re going to remember the imbecilic manner in which our new president became the president. It’s One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, but unless you’re a big Indian capable of throwing a sink through a barred window, sadly you’re stuck in the asylum.
God bless America. Enjoy the debate!