After weeks of momentum, pulling his nationwide polling scores nearly dead even with Hillary Clinton, the campaign of Donald J. Trump slammed into a wall of deliciously decadent discourse (alliteration alert!) that will likely determine debate discourse. (I warned you.)
Tonight's debate, in St. Louis, is a town hall format, audience members asking questions, with two moderators, CNN's Anderson Cooper and Martha Raddatz of ABC. It promises to be like no other presidential debate, ever.
One candidate's surfing a tsunami of sh*t and the other's holding the septic hose. Election Day is in one month, and this debate could swing the pendulum with the "undecided," the disingenuous who pretend they haven't made up their minds. So, other than Anderson changing the subject every time Hillary's emails come up, here are the 5 things to watch for...
For the first time in history, a presidential debate could likely include the words, p*ssy, rapist, semen, and b*tch. This debate is the first to be previewed with a red band trailer and carry a TV-MA rating. Trump will apologize for making disgustingly sexist comments, and will in turn remind us of Bill Clinton's disgustingly sexist actions.
You'll see it from the moderators, seemingly disgusted by Donald Trump's recently revealed reprehensible comments from 2005. Anyone who voted for Bill Clinton, and still revels in his "greatness" forfeits any credibility to claim offense at Trump's words. For crying out loud, the 42nd President of the United States used a 22-year-old intern's hoo-ha as a human humidor for his big Gurkha.
UPPER LIP SWEAT
Richard Nixon's on-camera appearance in his debate with John F. Kennedy set the benchmark for what NOT to look like at a debate.
Trump never looks composed in even the most friendly of environs, the spray tan and hair, not even George Clooney could pull that off. Factor in the relentless questioning of his character and tonight DJT will rise to the occasion and look like a president. Sadly for him, it's President Nixon.
Wade Garrett, seer, sage, and voice of wisdom from the 1989 classic film, Road House, gives the best advice. He once told an emotionally tormented Patrick Swayze, "When a man sticks a gun in your face, you got two choices; you can die or you can KILL THE MOTHERF*CKER!" And THAT is tonight's debate strategy for Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Attack, attack, attack. Allegations of misogyny, deleted emails, Benghazi, tax dodging... yep, all they'll be thinking is "kill the motherf*cker."
If an event happens, and no one makes a meme, did the event really happen?
So those are the top 5 things to look for tonight in the epic battle called Trump/Clinton II. If you need a 6th, check my Twitter feed, like this debate, it promises to be a train wreck of sophomoric language and bad metaphors.
God bless America!