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Wussification 101

September 23, 2016

I just read this semester's catalogue for Progressive U, and stumbled upon an exciting new course! 

 

Wussification 101: Examines core concepts of taking offense at everything in society no matter the intent. Focuses on creating adults unable to process life in the real world by using enabling methods and applying "understanding," coddling, and behavior constructs incorporating the assumption of microagression into every life challenge.

 

What an intoxicating time to be a student. I'm sorry this course wasn't offered when I was in college, I could have learned how to handle that mean guy from Sigma Chi when he called me, "David Cassidy."

 

What we have today is a generation of coddled millennials without the mettle to brave such atrocities as name-calling. This is what occupies much of our academic landscape. A couple of generations ago, kids that age occupied the front lines fighting Nazis. A generation after that, they were in southeast Asia, knee-deep in rice patties and napalm, dodging snipers, land mines, and all manner of horror. It's unfortunate there wasn't a safe space for them, ya know, like the ones today's students need to escape the barbarity of name-calling.

 

At the University of Houston, a psychology department adviser named Bobbie Sue Schindler, cites name-calling as just one example of the emotional distress with which UH students must cope. She believes students should be able to ask for an “emotional first aid” kit to handle the stress. 

 

Boo hoo.

 

Early this week, we got to see Schindler's rumination in widescreen. It was captured on camera by Project Veritas, an activist group that used it as part of a satirical video to spotlight what it calls, "the overly sensitive college policies and professors who are mollycoddling students on campuses across the country.” 

 

Watch, but only if you have a vomit bag and a safe space.

I need an “emotional first aid kit” after seeing such a display of "wussery." 

 

There's stress in all manner of life. Like being a single mother, working two jobs, figuring out how to pay the rent. Stress is raising a special needs child. Stress is having a terminal illness with not enough insurance to cover the cost of treatment. Stress is watching your teenager wrestle with drug addiction. Stress is a shylock threatening to break your fingers because you owe 20-g's to a guy named "Momo." Stress is a lot of things, with a lot of causes. What it is not? Being a college kid who is called a name, and it damn sure isn't a mispronounced name. 

 

Yep, that's a thing. Last year, a study by the Santa Clara County, California Office of Education and the National Association for Bilingual Education concluded students experience “anxiety and resentment” when a teacher mispronounces their name. I can't imagine what life is like for little Bobby Vagina... "It's pronounced, vash-in-ay!" 

 

We've got radical Islamic lunatics setting off pressure cooker bombs in our streets and these people are upset someone mispronounced their name?

 

Sack up.

 

Not sure how we arrived here. Absent parents? Lazy parents? Participation ribbons? 

 

Whatever the cause, the most surefire coping mechanism for this sort of thing?

 

Stop being a wuss and grow a pair.

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