• Dave Erickson

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Every single morning for eight years I woke up in a country led by a president for whom I did not vote, whose policies I did not support, and who stood contrary to almost everything I believed.

Never did I throw a brick through the window of a Starbucks. Never did I heave a Molotov cocktail into a convenience store. Never did I don a vagina-shaped hat while marching down Main Street yelling about the guy being a fascist or a dictator. Never did I tweet using the hashtag #NotMyPresident, because as an American, he WAS my president. Never did I cuss at people who voted for him. Never did I belittle those who voted for him. Never did I disengage from any member of my family who voted for him. Never did I dream of burning down the White House. Never did I disparage his wife. Never did I insult his children.

What I DID do... I committed to voting in EVERY election. That's where the power to change the system is. Yelling while dressed as a giant labia really doesn't accomplish much, other than attracting an East German bull dyke named, "Helga."

From local, to state, to primaries, to mid-terms, to national elections, I decided the only way to exact real change would be to consistently vote for the candidates I believed represented what I thought best for my community.

This past weekend I saw interviews with people protesting our newly sworn-in president admitting they didn't vote. To use a well-worn phrase, if you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain. Although, that isn't necessarily true. In our great country, you DO have the right to complain, but if you didn't vote, you just don't have any credibility.

To the complainers, the whiners, the petulant, the frustrated, I say, don't worry, be happy.

We don't live in an anarchistic, uncivilized third-world place with true oppression.

Don't worry, be happy!

Even though the ill-informed call him a Nazi, we have a constitutionally elected president, who thankfully, verbose rhetoric and all, isn't trying to exterminate an entire segment of the populace by gun or gas chamber.

Don't worry, be happy!

The United States of America survived Barrack Obama, George W. Bush, Andrew Johnson, a civil war, and Carrot Top.

Don't worry, be happy!

Yo, James Franco, who told The Daily Beast this week, "I’ve spiraled into a depression and I’ve been questioning everything that I am, and how I’ve been doing things," you have an Academy Award nomination, you're a bonafide academic genius, you have a reported net worth of 22 million dollars...

Don't worry, be happy!

Yes, a bombastic billionaire/reality-TV star/egocentric occupies 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just as an elitist community organizer/race-bater/egocentric occupied it before him. I survived. You'll survive.

No need to be rude, intolerant and exclusionary. No need to be a hate monger. No need to be like those people described by Piers Morgan, "Bomb threats, Hitler & incest taunts, foul-mouthed rants... and this was a march to 'End the hate'? Shameful hypocrisy."

Look, between you and me, the more antagonistic and mean-spirited you are, the likelier the dude you hate gets another term. I mean, lack of self-awareness and elitism is kinda why your gal lost in the first place.

So remember, in every life we have some trouble, but when you worry, you make it double...

Don't worry, be happy!

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